HORNER MEETS BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Velmi zaujimavo spracovany nazor na Hornerovu tvorbu:-))
To be sung with the opening music from "BEAUTY AND THE
BEAST'S "little town, it's a quite village" Enjoy! -RR
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TIRED SCORES
THEY’RE ALL HACKNEYED EFFORTS
EV'RY ONE
LIKE THE ONE BEFORE
TIRED SCORES
FULL OF SAME OLD MOTIFS
NOW THE FANS HAVE SAID:
[Collectors:] ENOUGH!
ENOUGH!
ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH!
THERE GOES JAMES HORNER WITH HIS SCORE LIKE ALWAYS THE SAME OLD ONES WE’VE HARD BEFORE
EVERY NOTE IS JUST THE SAME
FROM A SCORE THAT’S PRETTY LAME
BUT HE STILL SUCCEEDS DESPITE THE FACT WE’RE BORED
[Director) Good Morning, James!
[Horner] Morning, Mr. Director!
[Director:] Where are you off to?
[Horner:] I just finished this score to
a wonderful movie about
some seniors going off to
outer space-
[Director:] That's nice. Goldsmith!
Airforce One! Hurry up!
[COLLECTORS) LOOK THERE HE GOES THAT GUY
IS STRANGE, NO QUESTION
HIS MUSIC SOUNDS ALIKE NOW
CAN’T YOU TELL?
BUT HIS SCORE’S ARE NEVER CRASS
'CAUSE HIS HEAD'S STUCK UP HIS
ASS NO DENYING HE'S A FUNNY
GUY THAT JAMES
[HORNER FAN:] WHAT’S UP?
[HORNER:] HEY DUDE
[HORNER FAN:] WHAT ARE YOU WRITIN’?
[HORNER FAN:] WHAT’S UP?
[HORNER:] HEY DUDE
[HORNER FAN:] SO WHAT’S THE SCORE?
[HORNER:] I NEED A THEME!
[GOLDSMITH:] WISH I COULD HELP YA
[HORNER:] THERE MUST BE MORE THAN JUST
DA-DA-DA-DA!
[A NEWMAN:] Ah, James!
[RUSSIAN COMPOSER:] Good Morning. I've
come to return the score “I
borrowed”.
[RUSSIAN COMPOSER:] Finished already?
[HORNER:] Oh, I couldn't put it down.
Have you got anything new?
[RUSSIAN:] Ha Ha! Not since Wolfen.
[HORNER:] That's all right. I'll
borrow . . . . . this one!
[RUSSIAN:] That one? But you've used it
twice!
[HORNER:] Well, it's my favorite!
Russian themes, Arron
Copland, Bartok, daring
Shostokovich strings!-
[RUSSIAN:] If you like it all that much,
it's yours!
[HORNER:] But sir!
[RUSSIAN:] I insist.
[HORNER:] Well, thank you. Thank you
very much!
[COLLECTORS:] LOOK THERE HE GOES THAT GUY IS
SO PECULIAR
HOW IS IT THAT HE GOT THIS FAR?
AND THOSE WHO KNOW HIS WORK
WILL TELL YOU HE’S A JERK
WHAT A PUZZLE TO THE REST OF
US IS JAMES
[COLLECTOR:] OH, ISN'T THIS AMAZING?
THAT HE’S SCORED SO MANY, MANY
FILMS?
HERE'S WHERE KHAN MEETS ALIENS
BUT JUST TRY’N TELL HIS FANS
AND THEY’LL BLOCK YOUR IP!
[Woman:] NOW IT'S NO WONDER THAT HIS
NAME MEANS "REPEAT"
HIS SKILLS HAVE GOT NO PARALLEL
[SHOPKEEPER:] BUT BEHIND HIS FAIR FASCADE
IS A MAN WHO WAVES BATONS
VERY DIFF'RENT FROM THE REST
OF US
[COLLECTOR:] HE'S NOTHING LIKE THE REST OF
US
YES, DIFF'RENT FROM THE REST
OF US IS JAMES!
[THAXTON:] Wow! you didn't miss a beat,
James! you're the greatest
composer in the whole world!
[HORNER:] I know.
[THAXTON:] No composer alive stands a
chance against you. Ha ha
ha! And no critic, for that
matter.
[HORNER:] It's true, Sycophant Fan. And
I've got my sights set on that
one.
[THAXTON:] Hm! Steven Spielberg?
[HORNER:] He's the one - the lucky
director I'm going to
score for.
[THAXTON:] But He's -
[HORNER:] The most powerful man in town.
[THAXTON:] I know, but -
[HORNER:] That makes him the best. And
don't I deserve the best?
[THAXTON:] Well, of course! I mean you
do, but -
[HORNER:] RIGHT FROM THE MOMENT WHEN I
MET HIM, SAW HIM, I FELT THE
TWO OF US COULD MELD.
HERE IN TOWN THERE'S ONLY HE
WHO’S AS TALENTED AS ME
SO I'M MAKING PLANS TO SCORE
HIS LATEST FILM
[HORNER FANS:] LOOK THERE HE GOES
JUST MAKING MUSIC
JAMES-H
SO WHAT, IF IT’S REUSED?
IT SOUNDS, SO GREAT
IT’S THAT IMPRESSIVE
HE'S SUCH A SKILLED, ONE
THEMED, YOUNG ENGLISH GUY-
[FAN:] STOP!
[HORNER:] WHAT?
[PRODUCER II:] GOOD DAY
[PRODUCER III:] GET OUT!
[FILM FAN:] YOU CALL THIS MUSIC?
[WOMAN I:] WHAT LOVELY SCENES!
[MIXER:] SAME NOTES
[DIRECTOR:] TEN NOTES
[MAN IV:] ONE PLOT
[HORNER:] 'SCUSE ME!
[PRODUCER III:] I'LL GET THE FILM
[HORNER:] PLEASE LET ME SCORE!
[DIRECTOR:] THIS THEME??? -
[PRODUCER II:] THOSE PLOTS -
[PRODUCER I:] IT'S STALE!
[DIRECTOR V:] IT STINKS!
[MIXER:] HORNER’S MISTAKEN.
[COLLECTOR:] THERE MUST BE MORE THAN THAT
DA-DA-DA-DA THEME!
[HORNER:] NOW JUST WATCH, I'M GOING USE
THAT DAMN THEME!!
[COLLECTORS:] LOOK THERE HE GOES A GUY WHO'S
STRANGE NOT SPECIAL
A MOST PECULIAR AND WEIRD
FELLOW
IT'S A PITY AND A SIN
THIS GUY JUST SEEMS TO WIN
‘CAUSE HIS FANS DON’T REALLY
GIVE A DAMN
THEY ALL DON’T GIVE A FUCKIN’
DAMN
HIS FANS DON’T REALLY GIVE A
DAMN!
THAT JAMES!
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